I read a post on Facebook the other day asking friends to offer words of support to her brother being bullied at school. What stuck out to me was that she said she had never been bullied before which is why she was asking in the first place. Never been bullied!? I guess it surprised me because I figured everybody has been bullied at least once in their life. I’m almost 24 years old and I still have adults who try to bring me down.
Anyway, I compiled a list of things to think about/do in the unfortunate case this does happen to you or someone you know. I am speaking from experience and in no way an expert — just a survivor.
- be clear. if someone says/does something you don’t like, look them in the eye and firmly say “I don’t like it when you _____.” chances are they will be so taken aback that you stood up for yourself, there won’t be a second time.
- think about how insignificant this will feel in five years. whenever I went through a rough patch, I would look at it from different perspective. five years later and the event will be lost in time.
- ignore them. whenever I felt people be mean to me for no reason, I would simply just stop giving them my attention. I do not look at them, speak to them or go near them. you just don’t need that kind of negativity sucking out your soul. it’s literally the cold shoulder but some bullies feed off your anxiousness and attention. sometimes people don’t even realize that they’re being assholes until you treat them the way they treat you.
- write about it. sometimes it’s just easier to write what you’re thinking rather than saying it out loud. it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense; it’s unloading your brain so you have room to think about more important things.
- tell someone. no, not like rat on them. sharing your feelings is healthier than bottling it all in. your family or friend can help you feel better. it’s okay to ask for positive reinforcement.
I would love to hear about your ways on handling mean people other than killing them with kindness.
-dc
Claire Lardizabal 