A lot of people have asked me lately: How’s the married life?
To be honest, it’s not much different from how it was before we got married. T and I have been together for more than six years (!). We’ve lived with each other for most of those years and learned how to seamlessly manage our expenses, household, and each other along the way. Although we’ve had completely opposite upbringings and backgrounds, we have similar work ethic, interests, and goals that make us compatible.
It’s cohabiting and compromising and admitting you were wrong on a daily basis. It’s thinking about you two’s overall happiness. It’s a supporting kind of love where you just do things for each other without asking, it’s an effort without expecting anything in return. It’s taking turns making dinner for each other every night, and not forgetting to throw in an occasional coffee date in the mountains or waiting till late night happy hour hits so we can grab fancy food at a cheap price. (A lot of relationships, if you haven’t found out yet, is mostly based on feeding each other.) It’s being in a new state or country and playing up each other’s strengths and weaknesses to get by. It’s going forward while thinking about the other’s goals in mind. It’s listening to each other, no matter how much you hate their guts at that moment, and seeing it through the other’s eyes. It’s getting chicken noodle soup for you when you’re sick (it really does work). It’s making sure to always tell them you love them and giving them extra love when you mess up.
Being married hasn’t really changed a thing; if anything, I hope it shows any skeptics that it’s completely attainable in the modern age if you have a strong foundation to build it on. But as humans and all our perfect imperfections, it is a lot of hard work. It’s two people with their own thoughts and personalities trying to work together. There will be misunderstanding. There will be fights and screaming and tears. But in the end, if you can stick it through the good, the bad, the ugly, then the married life may be a viable option for you and your partner.
P.S. I am in no way, shape, or form a marriage expert.