So here I am. A month and a half in Denver, and so far I’m loving it. It’s about midnight and I can hear a train blaring its horn a mile or so into the city. The Aspen trees in the mountains have shed their brilliant yellow gold leaves. It’s not warm anymore, but it’s not cold yet either. I’ve given up my Missouri license and plates in exchange for Colorado ones. The days I work seem to fly by, and I can actually enjoy my free time, unlike in the school year when I wallowed in deadlines and constant pressure. For once in my life (and possibly graduating has something to do with this), I feel relaxed. I feel bad I haven’t written but when you just want to explore and take everything in instead of staying inside, I feel it’s justifiable. One thing I do do is keep a running list of all my ideas so I can have some inspiration or a starter when it is time to write. It hasn’t failed me yet!
The reason I’ve brought you here today is because I am having a dilemma. I went to school to learn how to be a magazine editor. I wanted to fulfill my dream of opening a magazine and seeing my name in the masthead. I’m sure the gratification is similar to a movie star seeing their name roll at the end of a movie’s credits or seeing yourself on tv or something. And while journalism school helped me achieve seeing my bylines by my stories, I no longer have that backbone in Denver. I’m in a whole new jungle. Does anyone care that I graduated from Mizzou? Does anyone care that I have written and edited? Does any of it matter, or compare, to the other talented individuals I am up against?
The point of it all is, I’ve applied for a few journalism jobs and I have yet to hear back. I’m not sure whether I should keep applying and wait for an internship opportunity or start my career down a different path that very well entails journalism and writing, but not for a publication. The truth is I’m tired of waiting tables at Olive Garden. I’m ready to hang up the apron and work in the day time and make real money with the skills Mizzou so graciously taught me. But I don’t want to kill my dream by jumping the gun either. So you can see my predicament. It’s either be patient, work hard a little longer, and wait for your journalism opportunity OR get a non-journalism job that encompasses your interests such as helping the public and learning about something new.
Journalism or sell out.
To serve or not to serve.